I Wish You Knew
by animegirl1363
Summary: I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know. Now, it's too late. He will never know. JackXCrow yaoi, possible OOcness, character death.


**A/N: hi! This fic is based on a dream I had not too long ago. I've also seen that this will be the first tragedy/angst story I wrote, so I hope it's not horrible. This is a yaoi.**

Yusei and I were at the hospital in the waiting room. The doctor just finished telling us, that Crow had not survived the car crash. Yusei was trying to hold back his tears even though they were falling down his face. Sadness and mourn written on his face. It would probably if I was actually showing it. But since Yusei was crying, I figured I had to be the strong one.

Stupid driver, texting behind the wheel! I would love to find that person and beat them to death with my own two hands! But that person was dead along with Crow.

Why did it have to happen to him? Why did Crow have to die?

Tears threatened to fall down my face, but I quickly rubbed them away before anyone could see.

It's been three weeks since Crow's death and today was the day of the funeral. After the burial Yusei and I returned to the garage, now realizing we had to figure out what to do with Crow's stuff in his room. But I didn't want to; I didn't want to deal with that, not now. I ran up to my room only glancing at the door that leads to Crow's room. I lay my head the pillow and silently cried.

I wanted to tell him, I wanted him to know, now, it's too late. He'll never know.

Ever since the funeral, I have rarely been out my room, let alone out the garage. Thinking about all the times Crow and I had, even if most of them were just arguments we had. When I did leave my room, I would just sometimes stand outside Crow's room. I'm afraid to go in there, afraid that I will break down from all the reminders of Crow. Yusei hasn't been in his room either. He says it's something we both should do.

Speaking of Yusei, I think he's worried about me. I'm worried about myself too. I think I might be showing signs of depression. But I'm just mourning.

A knock comes at my bedroom door. Yusei slowly pokes his head in.

"Jack I want to talk to you." He said.

"Then talk." I said, realizing I sound very depressed. The look on Yusei's face told me he didn't fail to notice that.

"I think you may be suffering from depression." Yusei said.

I let out of huff, "I'm not depressed, I'm, mourning."

"There's a difference, Jack. I don't want to lose you too!" Yusei said.

Again I let out a huff, "You're not going to lose me Yusei."

"Then please go out. You don't even drink your coffee at that little shop anymore." Yusei said.

"That's because it reminds me of him!" I shouted. "That shop! His room! This very city! It all reminds me of HIM!"

I walked passed Yusei heading towards Crow's room.

"J-Jack where are you going?" Yusei said.

I didn't bother turning the door knob; I just kicked the door down. I was in an emotional rage, now realizing that this was the first time I was letting out any kind of emotion since Crow's death.

I grabbed the first thing I saw which, was the covers on the bed, and threw it on the floor. I heard Yusei yell at me to stop. But I didn't. I grabbed the lamp on the side table and smashed it against the wall. I pushed over the dresser making all the cloths fall out, including Crow's 'Blackbird Delivery' jacket. Now that I think of it, he always did look kind of cute in it. I stared at it, letting tears fall down my face. I got on my knees and pick up the jacket and held it close to me.

I can smell his scent, like he was actually right here in my arms.

"I wish I could tell him, Yusei." I said softly.

"What did you want to tell him?" Yusei said knowing who I was talking about.

"He'll never know." I said.

"He will never know, what, Jack?" Yusei repeated.

I saw something through my blurry vision. I saw there was a book. I guessed it must have fallen when I pushed down the dresser. It fell opened on today's date. My widened at what I read.

I felt relief now that I know his feelings, I felt angry at myself for not telling him sooner, I felt sadness that we could never be together, and I feel now I can move on.

It was early in the morning that I stood in front of Crow's grave with a bouquet of flowers.

I love you Crow.

The words I never said and the emotion I never showed.

**A/N: the saddest thing I ever wrote. I cried the whole time I typed it. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Sorry for any OOCness. I have to go cry now, laters.**


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